The happy ending is that I finally got a legit offer and signed contract, not quite at full asking price, but pretty darn close. All in all, I'm very pleased...and thankful it's over.
Well, at least the selling part. There is still the closing and move, but I'll get to those things in future posts. This is the story of the sale, and like many long stories, it's best to start at the beginning...
Even before the listing for the apartment went 'live', as per the building's rules, I had to alert my fellow tenants in the building of the sale, perhaps with the notion that someone might want to purchase it. I drew up a simple letter about the upcoming sale, had it copied at the UPS store, and had the doormen place one in each of the mailboxes of each tenant in the mailroom. A few days later I got my one and only response via email from a tenant who lives in the building, let's call her "Barbara" (names have been changed to protect the innocent). Barbara also happens to be a realtor. She said she might have some out-of-town clients who lived in Hawaii and who the place would be right for. Now, my first instinct was the she was just being nosy, my very own Gladys Kravits. I knew her from my initial Board interview years ago and have seen her in the building a few times since. She's very nice, a Southern belle from the Carolinas if I remember correctly, with a soft lilting accent. Mid 60's and fashionably preppy in that Talbot's/Connecticut kinda way.
 |
| "Barbara", my fellow tenant |
I met her one afternoon to show her the place and she ooh-ed and ahh-ed in the requisite way. She wasted no time and asked right off, "Are you negotiable on the price?" I politely said, "Gee, Barbara, it hasn't even gone on the market yet, it's just too early to even think about it." That sorta shut down the conversation. She left and I forgot all about her and her clients.
Cut to weeks and weeks go by with merely a slight trickle of showings. Remember, the backdrop here is that it's the worst housing market in Manhattan since the Crash of 2008. It's bad.
 |
| I'm selling in the worst market in years, ugh. |
To complicate things, my apartment is one-of-a-kind. There's nothing else like it in my neighborhood. A studio apartment that's a pretty good size with lots of bells and whistles like tons of storage, full sized kitchen, topline appliances, washer & dryer, etc, etc, etc. AND it's premium priced. When I did an online search for studios in my area nothing else came even close in price. I stuck out there like a sore thumb. So I decided I would just have to be patient, this could take some time. It was the right apartment for the right buyer, but who knew when that would happen?
Finally, one day in late October, a couple of days before Halloween, David my realtor called to tell me he had a showing after work. It was a single man who was a 'fashion executive' who actually lived in the neighborhood, love it there, and wanted to downsize from his current apartment, a 2BR/2B. Let's call him "Dom".
 |
| "Dom", the fashion executive |
He lived a couple of avenues over on East 57th and 2nd Avenue and his place was currently on the market and in contract. He shows up and according to David started off a little bitchy but by the end of the showing had warmed up considerably because he apparently loved the apartment. The quote was "Well, there's nothing wrong with this apartment." He was quite the one for details too because he stayed almost an hour asking all sorts of questions. All good we thought. David heard later that Dom liked it enough to want a second viewing in the daytime to see how it looked in the daylight. Ok, fine. So another week goes by. Nada. Not a peep. I texted David and said "I guess we can assume the Dom thing is off?". He said, "No, I spoke to his realtor, he's been super busy at work and he still wants to see it again". A few days later Dom came to see the apartment around 11am. This time he brings an older gentleman, a friend, presumedly for a second opinion. The older guy was very stylish and bespoke and he walked with a cane.
 |
| Dom's friend, the bespoke older gentleman |
David said that most of the time the older guy sat in my Eames chair ("My what a comfortable chair!" he said), while Dom measured the walls and asked more questions. LOTS of questions. Poor David was grilled up and down about every possible minutiae about the apartment and the building. He called me later and said "I'm worn out!" At one point the old guy used the restroom and came out saying, "Don't look at me, I didn't break it!" I later noticed that the toilet seat was out of place on the commode seat. So it looks like the geezer somehow screwed it up. Was he just lifting it to pee? Or was he sitting on it doing something else? Who knows and I'll never find out.
A couple of days go by, it's November 18th at this point (nothing from Dom btw), and David texts me one morning, "Can I show the apartment today around 4:15?" I was in town and couldn't swing it, I'd be getting ready for the theatre, I was seeing a play that night with my friend Jim. David understood, it was Barbara the realtor calling him, she wanted to come by and take a video of the place for her Hawaiian couple who had "renewed interest". I said to David, "Why don't I take a video and send it to you, that way it's shot during the daytime with daylight and will show off the apartment better. If Barbara doesn't like it she can come another day and take her own video." He said great idea. So I did. And the video turned out quite nice. Both David and Barbara loved it. "You should come to work for me taking videos of all my listings!" he said, LOL. Listen, you don't work shooting commercials for 35 years and not know how to shoot a sell piece. Anyway, I took one more video showing all the closet storage and sent that one off too just for grins. If they didn't bite then David could use the videos for some future prospective clients. Done and done.
The next day I texted "Nada?" and he said he wanted to call me. Uh oh. Something was up.
So when it rains it pours. We had gotten not one, but TWO offers in the same day. One from Dom and one from Barbara's clients from Hawaii, the ones I started to affectionately call "Thurston and Lovey" because it was clear they had money.
 |
| Barbara's clients, "Thurston & Lovey" |
David found out their back story: they were former New Yorkers, now retirees, who actually used to live IN MY BUILDING in a bigger apartment. They missed New York and wanted a pied-a-terre to come to in the Spring and Fall. How nice (smirks). The husband was recently in town and had looked at one bedrooms in my building but they were all considerably more expensive (in the $800K-1M range while mine was priced at $699K), AND they all needed a lot of work. I can attest to this. I looked at those listings. There were some nice layouts but the kitchens and baths all looked dated and old, from the 70's and 80's at best. Thurston & Lovey wanted modern and turnkey, they weren't finding it. And there was nothing in the neighborhood to boot. Same story, PLUS none of those places had the pedigreed address of actually being ON Sutton Place South!
Now we come to the bids. Thurston and Lovey bid $600K, all cash. And Dom came in slightly higher at $619K, half cash, half financed. Now, David said if he was either of their realtors that he would have come in similarly given the state of the market. But I have to say I was a little insulted by those low bids. Really? A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS less on a 700K asking price? No way. And Dom's bid was not much better. I thought a lot about it and decided a good counter off would be $669K. That was coming down $30K, a LOT of money in my opinion. And it showed good faith that I was 'in the game' and not pulling anyone's leg (like I thought both bidders were doing with those low-ass bids!).
Right away Thurston & Lovely offered $650K all cash but they wanted ME to pay the flip tax. Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining. That's really a bid of $634K! And to add insult to injury, Barbara kept hocking David for an answer, texting and phoning him all day. He had to explain that I was traveling back to Sag Harbor and that the night before I was at the theatre (I was seeing "The Inheritance Part 1"). The next day she finally said "This is only a 24 hour deal on the table!" Really, lady?? Dom's initial bid via his realtor, a guy named Scott, was $640K. David didn't even tell me that bid. He told Scott "I can tell you that number is not gonna fly with my client. If you don't come back with a number that has a 5 in it, don't even bother." Good for David looking out for me. So Scott comes back with a bid of $655K with a few caveats: the sale is contingent on the sale of his apartment, it would be half cash and half finance like before, and he wanted two pieces of furniture, the kitchen island, the platform bed, and--wait for it--my Eames chair and ottoman! The one the little old man was sitting in! Was he throwing that in just to give to his friend because he liked it so much?? I saw his taste online and it would NOT work with his style which was more fussy and Bedermeier. What gives? Anway, I pondered and pondered his offer and after a lot of soul-searching I decided to take it...BUT I would not include my Eames chair. Even thought it is almost 20 years old, I love that chair. And new, those things go for over $5000.00!
 |
| NOT included in the sale! |
I figured the offer was pretty good and the market is so bad that I should cut my losses. And when I say 'losses' I'm exaggerating. The apartment cost me $350K, the renovation was another $200, and if you add up all the maintenance I've paid the last 5 years tack on another %50K...so all in all, anything above $600 is gravy.
David told Barbara that we were taking a higher bid and they bowed out quickly. Thank you, next. So with that verbal agreement with Dom and his lawyer David started the conversation with the spec sheet for the contract, putting all the agreements down on paper so that the lawyers could draw up the papers. That's when we hit a snag. A big snag.
Scott looked at the specs and said, "What's this about the Buyer paying the flip taxes?" Flip taxes are a fee that co-ops attach to sales in Manhattan apartments that are basically just a way for them to line their coffers with a little more cash, paid by the SELLER. It's annoying but a reality.
David told me he decided to list the apartment with the stipulation that the BUYER pay the tax. I didn't even know he did that but I'm so glad he did. I certainly didn't want to pay what amounted to $16,400.00! He told Scott, "I don't know what to tell you, Scott, that was in the listing from Day One. I can tell you my client is not going to pay it." It was Scott's screw-up and he was going to have to tell his client such. Ouch. I predicted Dom would say 'forget it'. A day later I was proved wrong. He decided to cough up the 16 grand. On a side note, David saw Dom's financials. The man makes $700K A YEAR at his fancy job as head of merchandising for a big national retailer. Sixteen grand amounts to just HALF of one of his normal paychecks. It's really pocket change for somebody like him. I did not feel bad that he had to pay the extra money. One more thing, if you choose to look at it a certain way (and I DID), the base offer of 655K plus the $16K flip tax equals $671K which is over my initial counter offer of $669K! I calmed down, glad that I had the deal.
So there we were. The lawyers were drawing up the contract. I got a new attorney suggested by David. A young guy I really like so far, Greg.
The following week was Thanksgiving. Then that first Monday after the holiday David called me.
This goes under the heading of "Anything can happen and it usually does" when you're dealing with New York real estate. It seems Barbara called David and said that Thurston & Lovey had buyer's remorse that they didn't get the apartment and they wanted to make another offer. David told them the ship has sailed. She was persistent: they wanted to offer $675K, all cash, and THEY would pay the flip tax and wanted to include all the furniture in the apartment in the sale.
 |
| A bidding war? |
UGH. What to do now?? We had a verbal agreement with Dom...but $20K is a lot of money to me. David told me it's not unheard of to back out of these verbal agreements, it had happened to him on the buyer's side several times. And it made me think of something I heard a wizened old lady say once: "Until it's ink on paper, it's all just TALK." Meaning, until there's a signed contract it's all moot. Should we tell Dom about a possible counter offer? He might get totally pissed off and back out altogether. We could conceivably lose BOTH deals. I also started to worry about the karmic repercussions of it all but then thought about Dom's salary. He could definitely have afforded a higher offer, why didn't he make one in the first place? After a lot of discussion with David we decided to go back to Barbara and say "Ok, if you hustle and get us a signed contract before the other bidder you have a deal." Remember, Thurston & Lovey had been kinda screwy through this whole process. Would they really come thru? They had never seen the apartment, they were buying it sight unseen! They were only going by Barbara's viewing way back in September and my little video! They were so crazy we said "We'll believe when we see it".
Sure enough they got us a contract the next day. There were several crazy things in the rider which Greg promptly crossed out. It was Tuesday. They said the 10 percent deposit of $70K would be wired to Greg's account the next day. Again, let's see what happens. The next morning Greg told David he received the money. Boom. They came thru in 36 hours. So before I sent back the signed contract on my end David and I had to decide what we were going to tell Dom and Scott. Should we let him counter? It was dicey. David made the call to Scott. It did not go well at all. Scott said it was a very bad time for this news, Dom's dad had just passed away and he was out of town in Florida. He'd call him and let him know. David then called me and we had to decide how to handle if from here. What if Dom wanted to counter yet again? Could we go back to Barbara and the Howells with a bidding war scenario? Would that piss THEM off? I came to the decision that I should walk away from the table with the Thurston and Lovey deal. Best not to poke the tiger. "Quit while you're ahead" I said to myself. It was a very good deal.
David spoke to Scott and told him we decided not entertain a counter offer from them. Another very difficult call, the worst yet. He accused David of being unprofessional and underhanded by putting two contracts out at the same time. David tried to talk him in off the ledge as best he could but it was a done deal, sorry.
So with that I immediately emailed my signed contract to Greg who forwarded to everybody and just like that it was all over.
Thinking it over the next day I thought about how badly Dom mishandled the whole thing. He had seen the apartment almost SIX WEEKS prior. He should have jumped on it then and not dicked around for days on end, booking viewings and making lowball offers with all those stipulations. The two things that really pushed me into going with the Howell's offer was that it was all cash. Dom's offer still had the contingency of the sale of his apartment. Not good. Also, if we DID go with a higher offer from him it would royally piss off Barbara. She's really "in" at my building. She knows the Board members. Thurston and Lovey had already let us know that they knew the Board President and were supposed friends with her. Would this poison Dom's chances when he came before the Board with his package? Again, anything is possible. I chose not to take that chance.
Lastly, if you think about their offer of $675K plus the $16K flip tax that's $691K, just shy of the very original asking price of $699K!! So the whole thing came full circle. Whew. I'm so glad this saga is over. At least for now...stay tuned for more adventures as I make my exit from The Beautiful Wreck...
UPDATE: Here's the Instagram post announcing the apartment being "in contract" from David, my realtor...
UPDATE: Here's the Instagram post announcing the apartment being "in contract" from David, my realtor...
