Crossing the rubicon

As we wait for the expeditor to get all the final city permits and paperwork finalized, I needed to sign and approve my contract with the contractor, Guillermo. I did that today and it was the easy part. The not so easy part? I had to transfer the first 25% of the renovation estimate into the contractor's bank account. Gulp.
It was a very large sum of money, but more importantly, there's no turning back now.
I'm in this. It's happening. Full steam ahead.

And normally this would make me extremely happy, especially with all the setbacks and waiting I've had to do the last few months. But I've had gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach all day today. The reason is that I'm so far over my original idea of what I thought this project was going to cost. WAY over. Do I have the money? Yes. (I did really well on the sale of my last apartment.) Am I happy about spending all that extra cash? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It's money I was hoping to invest. But I'm stuck in forward now, you can't turn this ship around after it's left the dock.
The more we get into the renovation, the more the sting will lessen I'm sure. Talk to me in three months, let's see if that thought comes through.